Brit Mila, Pt. 2

Dear Rabbi Fried,

A friend of mine was curious why God chose the brit mila as a sign to seal the covenant. He asked me: “why not an earring or a tattoo or something?” He even told me that he looked up “rabbinic sources” online but did not find a satisfying explanation. I was surprised to find myself at a loss to answer this simple question. What should I tell him that would help him and his class see the meaning of bris mila?


Dear Steve,

The answer to this question goes to the essence of our mission as the Jewish people. 

We have mentioned in past columns that in the early days of the Catholic church there raged a debate if it is possible to reconcile the physical and spiritual worlds. Is it possible for one to really enjoy the sweet offerings of this world and be a spiritual person at the same time? After decades of debate it was decided in the negative – to be holy one needs to separate themselves from physical pleasures and live an ascetic life. Hence, Catholic priests as well as nuns take a vow of celibacy, to ensure their holy mission in life. The holiest of all are the monks who refrain from all pleasures of life, some even from speech.

The result, of course, is what we constantly see in the headlines; scandals in the Catholic church worldwide, priests and bishops accused of improprieties of every kind with nuns, little boys, the list goes on. 

Torah thought is diametrically opposed to that of the Catholic church. Not only is celibacy not a virtue, it is considered a sin! The righteous King Hizkiyahu was on his deathbed when the prophet Isaiah visited him and told him he is going to die. He wept and repented and was spared, gaining another 15 years. 

The Talmud explains that Isaiah castigated him and told him prophetically that he was going to die in this world and the next, because he had not fulfilled the first mitzvah of the Torah, to be fruitful and multiply; he hadn’t married and had children. Hizkiyahu answered him that he refrained from this mitzvah because he received a prophetic vision that he was destined to have offspring who would sin and be wicked kings. 

The prophet retorted, that which he was obligated to do – having children, he had forsaken. What will be in future generations wasn’t in his hands, that is in the hands of God; he must do as he is commanded. Hizkiyahu wept and repented, vowing to have children if he was allowed to live, which he was – and did.

Similarly, we find that a Nazirite, one who takes a vow of holiness including refraining from the consumption of wine, upon completion of that vow period he must bring, among other offerings, a sin offering. The question is obvious, what sin did the Nazirite commit by taking a vow of holiness? The Talmud explains that it was the “sin” of refraining from wine; “it’s enough the Torah already forbade upon you and you are adding more forbidden things?!” 

The Torah wanted us to enjoy the pleasures of this world, in a controlled way. Certainly, one of the greatest pleasures in life is that of intimacy. God not only desired but even commanded us in the mitzvah of marriage and all that goes with it; it is incorporated into the Ketubah document. Of all names, the Jewish marriage is called “kiddushin”, meaning holiness! Marital intimacy is the epitome of sanctity, when performed in accordance with the ensuing laws of family purity which elevate the profane to the holy. 

This, the elevation of the profane to the holy, is the essence of Judaism. In this way we, indeed, fuse together the physical and spiritual worlds. 

The area of life which most lends itself to misuse and lack of control is that of sexual relations. This is evident in so many ways in our culture that constantly inundate

us with the messages of immorality. In order to put the sign of control in this most holy – and at the same time most potentially immoral – area of life, we were commanded to put upon ourselves a sign of control, the bris milah. Man, who needs much more control in this area than woman, was commanded to put the sign of holiness in the place which will teach control in all areas of life. 

This is the sign of the covenant, the bris milah, which was given to Abraham to be the sign of his people for all time. This is the constant reminder, literally 24/7, that we are to enjoy this world – in the way the Creator deemed appropriate, thereby elevating ourselves and the physical world with us. 

[A rabbi and a Catholic priest were having breakfast; the rabbi scrambled eggs and the priest, bacon and eggs. The priest says to the rabbi, “this bacon is so delicious, rabbi, God gave us the pleasures of the world to enjoy, not to refrain from them. When are you going to finally break down and taste this bacon?!” Answers the rabbi, “at your wedding, father!”]


Rabbi Yerachmiel Fried

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

More To Explore

Jewish Law & Thought

Mourning After Kaddish

I have recently completed the year of mourning and kaddish for my father, and am left with a profound feeling of emptiness now that it’s finished. I know I can no longer say kaddish, but is there anything more that I can do or is that it?

Jewish History & Current Events


This time of the year, as I follow along with the readings of the weekly Torah portion, I have a lot of trouble studying the sections we are now reading that deal with the building of the Mishkan – tabernacle. First of all, I have a problem relating to it; how does a building they built thousands of years ago affect our lives. Secondly, why do these portions appear in the book of Exodus, which is the story of the Exodus from Egypt. Why are they not in the next book of Leviticus which deals with the sacrifices they brought in the tabernacle?